There Is No One Right Way to Live
Date Posted: February 12th, 2010
I have a tendency to judge people.
If someone’s vegetarian, chances are good I’ll think of them positively.
If someone doesn’t like reading for pleasure, chances are good I’ll think of them negatively.
And these are just surface characteristics. If they’re doing things I think are harmful like eating non-food items or spending more than they earn, I’ll not only judge them, but want to confront them about it.
This isn’t a malicious tendency. I’m aligned with Truth. I want others to be too.
But this tendency to judge and preach isn’t all that effective. It’s arrogant and self-centered instead of helpful. Arrogant because I don’t know everything. Self-centered because what makes sense for me won’t necessarily make sense for everyone.
Here’s something that’s gotten me in trouble before. I love cooking, I believe it enriches my life, and I believe it is the best way to ensure that the food you pay for comes from good sources. I feel very strongly about this and think a lot of people would do well to start doing their own cooking. Just because I believe this, though, doesn’t mean that everyone can, will, or should learn to cook for themselves. It’s certainly possible to live a good, happy life without every developing cooking skills. I have to be open to the idea that the person I encounter falls in this category.
For the most part I’ve learned to deal with this tendency. If you think you fall into this trap too, here’s some advice.
First, start noticing when you start judging other people. You can’t stop a habit if you don’t realize when you do it.
Second, when you notice you’re doing it, Bite your tongue before saying something you might regret.
Third, channel your energy into understanding them rather than preaching. People like feeling they’re understood, and you’ll be better able to give advice if you’re asked.
Also, remember that there no one right way to live. If someone is happy with the way their life is going, be happy for them. If their happiness doesn’t make sense to you, all the more reason to look for understanding.
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