Comments on: Abstinence: The Disadvantages http://thepathlesstraveled.net/blog/2009/03/abstinence-the-disadvantages/ Mon, 13 Dec 2010 17:14:13 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: janice http://thepathlesstraveled.net/blog/2009/03/abstinence-the-disadvantages/comment-page-1/#comment-83 janice Fri, 03 Jul 2009 06:49:31 +0000 http://thepathlesstraveled.net/blog/?p=29#comment-83 I waited till I was married to have sex. I have to say that I really regret it. I was in a very religious culture and once I got older, I left that culture and now I am more of a free thinker, open to all spiritual beliefs. I am almost thirty and I have only been with one man my entire life. I wish I had more experience. I think about it everyday. One of the biggest things that you get blindsighted on with waiting till you get married, is that you don't have a chance to see how sexually compatible you and your partner are. I was young when I got married. I was 20, so I was practically in diapers when I got married and I had no relational or sexual experiences to compare or at least know what I liked. I allowed myself to evolve and develop into the person that I want to be, and now I find myself ver frustrated. I just really want to experience something new. I feel bad because I don't have a horrible relationship. Sure there are some issues there that REALLY need to be addressed in our relationship, but there has been no abuse, no addictions, and no adultry. I feel I should be happy and content, but all I want now in my life is a chance to be alone, unattached to anyone, but enjoying developing friendships with men without guilt. I am so confused, because I feel that if my husband and I just would have had sex when we were younger, we would have gotten the chance to free our minds (and burning loins, lol) to think clear enough to know whether we should have gotten married that young or at all in the first place. My advice to all those considering abstinence: I would say you should at least be in a commited relationship with someone, and go at it. Explore. There is no reason to jump into marriage just so you can have sex. Give yourself a chance to grow up, developing into the person you individually want to be in society, and explore your sexuality through healthy commited relationships. It doesn't mean that those relationships have to be destined to be permanant. If oyu have someone that adores you and wants to walk through life with you for a while, enjoy each other sexually and see where it goes. Those are my two cents anyway I waited till I was married to have sex. I have to say that I really regret it. I was in a very religious culture and once I got older, I left that culture and now I am more of a free thinker, open to all spiritual beliefs. I am almost thirty and I have only been with one man my entire life. I wish I had more experience. I think about it everyday. One of the biggest things that you get blindsighted on with waiting till you get married, is that you don’t have a chance to see how sexually compatible you and your partner are. I was young when I got married. I was 20, so I was practically in diapers when I got married and I had no relational or sexual experiences to compare or at least know what I liked. I allowed myself to evolve and develop into the person that I want to be, and now I find myself ver frustrated. I just really want to experience something new. I feel bad because I don’t have a horrible relationship. Sure there are some issues there that REALLY need to be addressed in our relationship, but there has been no abuse, no addictions, and no adultry. I feel I should be happy and content, but all I want now in my life is a chance to be alone, unattached to anyone, but enjoying developing friendships with men without guilt. I am so confused, because I feel that if my husband and I just would have had sex when we were younger, we would have gotten the chance to free our minds (and burning loins, lol) to think clear enough to know whether we should have gotten married that young or at all in the first place. My advice to all those considering abstinence:

I would say you should at least be in a commited relationship with someone, and go at it. Explore. There is no reason to jump into marriage just so you can have sex. Give yourself a chance to grow up, developing into the person you individually want to be in society, and explore your sexuality through healthy commited relationships. It doesn’t mean that those relationships have to be destined to be permanant. If oyu have someone that adores you and wants to walk through life with you for a while, enjoy each other sexually and see where it goes.

Those are my two cents anyway

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